A few hours ago and as I always expect it to be, I dropped something which was a magnet decoration commonly seen in most refrigerators. That magnet decoration is a box shaped object without sides similar to test tube holders in chemistry labs, it was small enough to contain 6 similar small bottle like plastics which a conscious mind would assume it as wine bottles. Nothing special and I really hope I can show you a picture of it, but I was not able to do so because I can't make a connection with our computer and my mobile phone I use to capture images from anywhere. Yes, I dropped it and there's no big deal, It's just a toy and surely mom would not mind if something was lost out of a few decorations attracted to fridge's metal covering due to magnets attached on each of the objects.
As that object dropped, I was really surprised mixed with emotions of being a person which really doesn't care of anything unimportant. So what if it dropped, unless if it is a bomb that can be triggered right? but it is not. As it dropped I ask my [ate]older sister to pick up the scattered fake wine bottles in the floor. She would not pick it and even a 1 day old visitor or house guest can even tell that, my sister is not that kind of person who do good deeds especially when it is being asked by another person to do it. As I was picking it up, I hate it! I lost one bottle and I was really upset. Although I was already expecting such fate, I'm not really enjoying my bad luck which started when I was demoted in rankings in school. Ever since last last month, I always fail in almost everything and my parents lost me. I wonder if when can I regain their trust in me, and because of that I see myself as a failure. Of course not deeply inside my feelings, I regard myself as something excellent and I don't expect to be treated as such. Just for now... I'm not myself.
Last morning, my mom asked me the same question again. Asking if my classmates were already done with their medical examination. I was actually a 'waitlisted' on that scholarship program and for me only miracle can take me in based on my feelings right now. Although miracles can occur at any time, I'm not expecting anything from it. I'm already done with that stage and I'm not expecting anything at all right now.
The truth is, I already know that my classmates have done their medical examinations and I know that I'm not coming inside that program. I already know my wrong fate and I can't tell my mom exactly the truth about it. I'm afraid to see a bad face in front of my mom, and I didn't even greet happy mother's day to her. Although, I didn't say it directly to her that I don't stand a chance on that scholarship program, I know that at least she could get what my lie means. I know that mom always know when we are lying or not and maybe she just believes us sometimes because she's trying to trust us on everything.
As for now, I'm nothing.. but one thing has got into my mind after listening to the song 'I'll be ok' by dougie poynter of mcfly and it is 'It's better to start from nothing than realizing one day that you've lost everything' hmmpphhh...:[
As that object dropped, I was really surprised mixed with emotions of being a person which really doesn't care of anything unimportant. So what if it dropped, unless if it is a bomb that can be triggered right? but it is not. As it dropped I ask my [ate]older sister to pick up the scattered fake wine bottles in the floor. She would not pick it and even a 1 day old visitor or house guest can even tell that, my sister is not that kind of person who do good deeds especially when it is being asked by another person to do it. As I was picking it up, I hate it! I lost one bottle and I was really upset. Although I was already expecting such fate, I'm not really enjoying my bad luck which started when I was demoted in rankings in school. Ever since last last month, I always fail in almost everything and my parents lost me. I wonder if when can I regain their trust in me, and because of that I see myself as a failure. Of course not deeply inside my feelings, I regard myself as something excellent and I don't expect to be treated as such. Just for now... I'm not myself.
Last morning, my mom asked me the same question again. Asking if my classmates were already done with their medical examination. I was actually a 'waitlisted' on that scholarship program and for me only miracle can take me in based on my feelings right now. Although miracles can occur at any time, I'm not expecting anything from it. I'm already done with that stage and I'm not expecting anything at all right now.
The truth is, I already know that my classmates have done their medical examinations and I know that I'm not coming inside that program. I already know my wrong fate and I can't tell my mom exactly the truth about it. I'm afraid to see a bad face in front of my mom, and I didn't even greet happy mother's day to her. Although, I didn't say it directly to her that I don't stand a chance on that scholarship program, I know that at least she could get what my lie means. I know that mom always know when we are lying or not and maybe she just believes us sometimes because she's trying to trust us on everything.
As for now, I'm nothing.. but one thing has got into my mind after listening to the song 'I'll be ok' by dougie poynter of mcfly and it is 'It's better to start from nothing than realizing one day that you've lost everything' hmmpphhh...:[
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