fraud

Hi Blog. I really don't want to say anything to you, but I just have to. Well, I can't say anything to anyone in this world because of sisu, and besides I don't want to.

My concern is all about me, I've been telling and doing a lot of lies lately. I always consider people who are real on themselves. I prefer more on people who does not pretend or act as if it's a universal law to be what they are doing which doesn't make any sense because what's deep inside you is the real you and will always go out.

But, I felt stupid lately. What I dislike is what I am doing and I really hate that thing. For me it's like accusing others to be thieves when you're stealing a larger amount than the people you were referring to.

As always, I don't have my originality and I always copy other people which to some extent I admire. The reason's not mostly materialistic but more on the spirit thing. I regard being envious as a positive thing, I copy other people but make sure I can outplay him which happens when depending on my standards I've won a race against an opponent which has no idea I was competing him.

After all the self drive, all the envious thing is gone and I see myself better than yesterday. I know it's bad to cheat, plus self-praising is stupid. As stupid as your mom saying you're the most handsome man on earth. It really doesn't make any sense but my point is, other than yourself... who can probably praise your works? Other than yourself.. who can praise you the way you feel you're worth it? Other than you... who can encourage you when you need some encouragement/self-drive from other people?

Well, I can't beg for other people's advice. Each person in this world has their own business and things in mind. It's just impractical to open a lot when you know you're not getting the thing you wanted. Better keep it yourself than trouble others. But my conscience is hitting my back and I really feel it now. I think God is reminding me to slow down a bit and think think and think a lot before doing decisive action.

I am the captain of my soul, God is my provider. Nobody can dictate me what to do and I can be better than anybody or outplay anyone even if it's only me acknowledging it.

Godspeed:D

The Truth!

As my promise to God and as a strong Christian, silently but evidently I'm trying to convince people to "the truth". Christianity with full conviction, and we Christians call it "true Christianity". However, I think and well many of us so-called "faith warriors" has less success recently. When you talk about "religion" thing to other people, they regard it as a serious matter and they'll suddenly or abruptly try a change of topic which is something more funny or lively. We are even laughed by some and honestly I really pity them not because they probably can't be with Him but I pity them for being blind of "the truth".

I have a few pictures here and by seeing these I'm in deep connection with God and well I hope you would too. If you are... feel free to comment or reflect by yourself on these pictures and 100% it's worth it. I swear.:D

FINNISH

Hi blog, I really feel like writing so you have to keep track with what I am saying/typing. Besides I think you don't have a choice, do you? Other than God, you're the only one which I can really rely on. Well, I have a firm belief that no one can really understand you except you yourself and to give justice I think it would just be best not to confide what seems to be rude or weirdo to others. Got that experience in high school and sometimes even now, they call me weird where the fact that I am really not.

I've read an article in National Geographic about FINLAND, yes it sounds far like "santa claus" and "heavy snow" but I'm not really referring to those. I mean the FINNISH, it's people in Finland are called and yes the Finnish themselves already finished their societal transformation from one of the laggish in Europe to one of the richest. However, I'm not in the mood to talk about material wealth right now. I've read a lot about the so-called "Finnish" and I realized I wanna live there.

What caught my attention is that how the Finnish themselves are described by an American traveler and I realized and oh well probably I have a Finnish attitude. Foreigners said that Finnish people are cold, slow-to-show-emotion, people who don't usually show hospitality(*do not open the windows of their cars when they're asked by lost travelers). But the truth behind such unwelcome spirit in Finland is rooted to the traditions of their people and they're not actually what most foreigners describe them. Finnish people are naturally shy and they put heavy emphasis in inner spirit and people's privacy. I reflect my self the Finnish way, deep inside I'm a welcoming Christian, but most people say that I'm snob, don't show emotion, not approachable, and etc. But as far as I know myself, I'm not and will never be. However, I choose people as what the Bible says we should keep ourselves far from people who will not bring us to goodness.

I'm really good in socializing with people in "indirect" ways such as Facebook and etc. I think I have the talent that attracts people both men and women(more preferable), young and old. I don't know why but I think I'm an invisible person which I think they'll not appreciate me well when they chat to me in person.

WHAT IF

Hi Blog(as if I'm talking to someone) o.0... I was thinking a lot about what ifs, what if I'm born with a gold spoon? what if I'm born with extraordinary luck? what if I'm born to Hollywood Star parents? what if my dad is as rich as Bill Gates and as good as the top Philanthropist of America? Well, I know I'm lucky enough today if that what if is in the opposite(you know what I mean), but enough of the Africa thing and I think I'm very unlucky enough in current standing that I could no longer think of anything more worse I can handle as of the moment.

When I was young and of course materialistically driven by wants(e.g toys, etc.), my parents always told me that I/we should be contented in what we have. Plus Besides we can do nothing about it for the mean time, just forget that insecurity actually exist(just for the mean time).

Now, my what ifs no longer linger upon materialistic wants but towards freeing myself on things and situations that serves as encumbrance on my peace of mind. Despite being relatively free of academic stress compared before, my mind has never been this overused and I'm filled with anxiety all over the place.

All the time I'm wishing that at one long night I can dream that I'll be in a place where all my worries are gone and I will be in a paradise heaven-like at least. Well, I wont say that I'm ready to die but actually the truth is we have no control of our life and I'm confident that if the judgment day comes I'll be with Jesus my king. I believe that one day my time will come that I'll be very much happy but at this time it seems distant as much as the nearest galaxy to earth.

Real happiness differs towards how we perceive it. One may be happy with their loved ones, the money they worked hard for, or the acceptance they've been longing for. I can imagine myself being rich, or being with all my friends, or being a Hollywood superstar admired by many. I can assert that I can never be happy. Perhaps being in control of everything like a CEO of a billion dollar company, you can be as what you want to be but the responsibility and reputation on stake is mind-bogging. Or rather being a Hollywood superstar owning everything from luxury cars to palace-like homes in Beverly can be ideal, yet no one knows why Britney chose the path she has now.

Or last being with friends... next to God and family, friends or colleagues as I call them are my most important refuge. But the sad thing about it is that though I have many real friends I do not usually share everything to them. We share moments of laughter but when the challenge is there I chose to have it solo. I have a lot of experience regarding problems but other than lame advices I think it'll be better if I have those alone.x.x

anyways, no worry, being a strong Christian... God is with me and I'm never afraid of anything other than being in hell. ;0

the BILL of tension

Hi Blogger, I'm back. All the weeks we're a bit bumpy and the good thing about it is it's done and I don't have to go with it again. I have an seem-to-be-unsolvable problem which I will give in full detail on my next post.

Another intriguing news lately is that our President is threatened for excommunication just to have his noble support on anti-RH Bill. For your information, Reproductive Health Bill or whatever it is called in the long form is the bill(and obviously may become law in the future) that may allow the government to legally or in any sort of way to release any contraceptive without any constraint. For this case, Abortion is still illegal even if the RH goes on its way. The thing that complicates everything is the stand of the church. Roman Catholic church which dominates Philippines than any other religion greatly condemn any action taken by the government in support of the bill.

On my view, which obviously matters on this blog for this is mine, I do not support nor support the Bill. I leave it for status quo and actually it doesn't concern me. Ask you, do you like to raise children in great numbers these hard days? even a child is already difficult. But, what distracted me most is the action of the church. They persuaded the president by the use of excommunication, a frugal thing for a threat and unthinkable desperation. I am a very religious person, but I am not Catholic by practice(I'm Protestant). I'm straight to God! to him and nothing more. The traditional ways and great interference put by the roman catholic church like laws above people is useless. It is clear from the bible and teachings of Jesus that salvation is from Him(Jesus Christ) and self-voluntary openness and acceptance of Jesus as the savior and not by any other means of such indulgence-like interference of church.

I don't like the European golden years of the Vatican, the indulgences, persecution, etc. plus added to these during the modern times, I feel like I wanna support the bill for protest.
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