Weirdness #2

Like I mentioned yesterday, there's a weird call right? and the call said that we'll go and report to my new university and start as soon as I can. The credentials needed were unfortunately left in my enrolled school, the University of the Philippines, and I don't know if getting it back will be easy. I think I'll require a lot of work to be done and as always the university itself is very strict in handling people-for the reason that I really don't know. But, I think I'll do my last decision tomorrow and that is giving up something and again and again venturing into something new and highly advanced. I don't call my university stupid, but there's gotta be something that needs to be sacrificed in order to have something.

Tomorrow is scheduled for my supposed to be last and totally last check-up and then go, I'll be a certified student in a new university. My new university is a university specialized in a course that will really straighten me out. The training both mind and body will really give you big improvements and I know that I'll be easy for as long as I'm already used with it. I wonder how long will I go or how long will I drive with this kind of decision I have. I can't change my decision and I know that once a saying said that "one can't see the wide seas without going through rough seas" so I think that will make the answer to the questions.

I can't help but imagine how many things I've left behind just for this decision I've decided last night. I have new friends already, I have new teachers whom I always thought of nice, and lastly my heart already belongs to the UPian society. But, look at the bright side and literally a bright future. No one can be as good as they want to be if they are not versatile enough to go with different challenges. Everyday is filled with surprises and weird stuffs circulating around me, one may hit and affect me while the others may just pass and to be real-I really don't care for those.

For now, I'm so puzzled, I still don't know how will I become months, years, and moments from now. I don't know if my decisions will continue well or might just be ignored again by stupid surprises. I always say life is weird and when it strikes its weirdness again, one can just simply sit and wait for a moment to respond how it strikes you with different challenges. For now, I still don't know if my decision will work. I think it's the best I can do for now, the only best thing I can do for now... I study because it's the best and the only good thing I can do for now.

God loves surprises

The days just passed the same way as it should be. The deeper I get into the UPian society the more integrated I am with my original placement in the place where I originally belong. As days passed, I slowly felt home and comfortable with my so called "cultural shocking" school. Though I agree that I really don't like to be with people which are so motivated or over-motivated to push through and feeling like I don't have a choice has finally made me into someone versatile to everyday changes.

Everyday is like a challenge for me, I laugh, I observe weirdness, and most of the time I feel different. This is maybe due to major differences with every person I meet time by time and who knows that sooner or later I'll be venturing into something new. That is if god wants me too.

Last hour, my dad informed me of a very weird and eye-popping news, a call was received saying that I might be transferring to another school which is very very weird. Can you just imagine it, after looking so forward for days... here I am venturing into a new turning point in my life. Just one wrong turn and I'll be trapped in a dead end with nothing to do but go back where I came from. I was surprised and like I said before, I really hate surprises and for that... LIFE IS REALLY WEIRD, why do god always give me surprises when I don't want to have something that will only make me a lot more frustrated.:(

But for now, I'd like to share my little creations with you... these group of art are my firsts in UP IT lectures and labworks.

Saturday

Probably, of all the days of the week, Saturday or SATURDAY is the most exciting and the most awaited day of all. The main reason is "NO CLASSES", though that thought was plainly a high school's lazy freak, I think It's still in effect right now. Not all, but being in UP will bring you to big free times especially during Wednesdays and Weekends, So look at the bright side. haha

I wont say anything about my experiences in my first day of classes, though it's still good for now, I'm still searching and expecting for something like makabuang or what. I'm weird but I think it's the best thing I can do for now, I don't wanna be like an idiot expecting for nothing when I'm stupidly studying in a "school for the future". So, for now everything is normal but a bit lesser than I expected. I've heard a lot of comments from my friends about their "adjustment" period of college, most are a bit culture socked and I wont comment about it, they haven't gone to UP yet and maybe if they've tried it they'll be like walking zombies if they are that ignorant. Haha, I'm not being rude but I think thinking the worst possibilities will protect me from being extremely hurt by surprises, I hate surprises and I don't know why life always give me some.

I was so bothered about what my older brother mentioned last morning, he said he'll use HIS bag next week. It's a normal bag and I don't hold it if he'll really use it, It's not my property anyways and I'm not holding something as it is, the bag was not good and yes I wont be subject for a quarrel with him just for that small little thing. The big thing on this so-called issue was that I don't have any bag anymore. whaaaa!

Way back in high school, we have uniform bags, can you believe this one? uniform bags? haha. but yes it really is. Our bags our uniform to promote equality among everyone and I think it's so stupid cause we can no longer push through the value of equality in "material things" these days. Though I really don't like my alma matter's idea of uniformity in everything, I've spent 4 straight years already there and I think everything was ought too be so cool.

I was imagining my self using the "STEC bag" in college, it's too big and I think you can put one week supply of clothes in it. Imagine if I'll put my single binder and a bit of books there? I'm like a lost child from the mountains with that bag... Omg. On the other side of the story, the bag that I've been using for the first day of school was my brother's college bag, he somewhat abandoned it a bit and I think it's my oppurtunity at first. So, I've washed the bag and finally put some finishing touches with it and fixed some of its minor injuries probably from mishandling.

I find my older brother always unfair as usual. I'm very jealous with him and yes not only in material things but in everything, ranging from oppurtunities, his glorious past, and everything. Being the middle child of this very big family is already a curse for me. My older brother is the eldest so it's already expected that he got everything he wants and can choose rightly his decisions. He is really different from the "eldest" people I know and I've met. Most of them are very crucial and sacrificed a lot just for their family and their siblings. One of my classmates before, She's a girl but she went to a Maritime school just for the money she'll have after pursuing such course. She once told me how difficult it is to be the eldest she even said "Maypa dugai nlng ko gipanganak para murag akong mga manghud free na sila na mupili sa ilang mga gusto, ug usa pa na mangayo nalang ko sa tanan". That statement really hit me, not because I'm the eldest but yes I feel like the eldest.

Though I'm not the eldest in this family, being the middle child is the most stupid thing one can encounter and I think in the near future everything wont be the same anymore. Naturally the first one gets the worm, everyone will follow, the last one usually gets the smallest amout but naturally one thing is wrong with this thought, they did not mind that not all things in the first sight is everything that is left... there should be one left and the last one can luckily eat those worms without hassle for the rest of the clan is already bloated.

Of all us 5, my eldest brother has the best childhood experiences and he even brag it with my younger brother and sister. He has the best educational experiences and spent most of it in private high schools. He even made mom and dad very proud of him and I never heard them scolded him so hard just like they did with me and my older sister Janine. He studied in an expensive and glamorous school while me and my sister strives hard just to continue studying and of course since one is seeking for the cheapest, where? but here in state colleges with dilapidated facilities.

Back to my bag, I think I can no longer hold it longer and though how much I want my first things to last, I think to move on you need to give off many things for the good of everyone. It was a very huge step and a journey, the first week of college life is probably one of my biggest leap ever, and I think though there were more leaps sooner I think my first would be more memorable if I still have my bag. It was so much fun, and when times that I feel alone I search for things on my bag while I was sitting like an autistic loner in campus. Although it was only one week, I think my bag already saw my new friends and I really hope so that one would emerge as my real best friend.

He[my bag] saw my first instructors, most of them look cruel but I always think that learning from them is already a very big thing and I think their sacrifices is always good as expected. He's been one of my contributors of confidence while walking proudly in the school campus of the intelligent people. Everything was really good and I'll never forget my first week and for now I need to give it off.

But, it's not a problem... there are lots and lots of surprises soon. Guess what? I've recovered from this surprise for just one whole minute! can you believe it? I think I'm improving:)

Types of Filipinos

This idea suddenly came into my mind out of nothing while I was sitting inside a v-hire together with other commuters struck in traffic a day ago. I normally commute to home 5:30-6:00 in the afternoon/evening going with masses mostly in rush hour period. The cause of the traffic is very inevitable at this time and although it's unbelievable, yes! it is caused by an old bridge designed quite badly for commuters' use. My school is far from where I'm staying right now, I travel at least one hour everyday just to go to classrooms. Kilometers away from my four walls of learning is a city named from the first hero of the Philippines, Lapu-lapu City is an island city linked to downtown Cebu via two bridges which brings Metro Cebu road traffic to Lapu-lapu City. Fast pace of industrialization had somewhat worsen the traffic problem in the island due mainly because of it's rapid population growth.

I thought of how would we classify Filipinos? Hmnn... most people here tend to classify their fellowmen physically by how someone would look, "Is his/her complexion dark or fair?" that's the normal question one would raise and frankly speaking it's too racist. But, deeply as we're in fast pace of societal change, no one would care on how would someone look but more on what he/she thinks and act accordingly. I think it's the best way of distinguishing good and bad people and with the right core values in them, people are best suited in a Utopian society.

Basically, there are two types of Filipinos... first the one who thinks of himself in high standard. These people mostly make up the highest paid and richest in my society. These high class people eat, dress, speak well very different from what normal people we see on streets do. The other class is the one who thinks of "simple life" doing nothing but literally simple. These simple people do not usually go beyond what they are expected and tend to lagg behind in the society making the undistribution of income worse. The two types do not really live well together, one has very big view in life and the other one tends to be left behind of all the changes happening globally right now. The second class may be educated but can never be so succesful than the higher class. The first class may be poor at some time but can never be as such than the second class, they search, look, and find deeper ways to seek better oppurtunities everywhere.

A new group of people emerged, they are educated and well suited for the society with big differences. Together they make up the middle class between the two different types of people. Most of these people commonly called "Pag-asa nang bayan" is said to be the only loose hope of this striving nation with big differences. Somehow, I realized that what my country needs is people who are more open to changes and is looking deeply forward to those changes for the betterment of everybody. I don't wanna be selfish but I think seeing hopeless people in their lives would really make me feel so frustrated and honestly I always look forward on my self at that times of hardship. I don't think of what my society would be and I don't think of anybody but me and my family. How can someone be fully happy when though he/she achieved what he aimed for yet continue to suffer seeing bad systems existing in his own society. Can this still be helped?

"I hope so, I really do!":(

My Last Summer Night-Unofficially High School

I planned to sleep early this night, originally around 19 or 20, but since plans don't really work as it is directed... here I am, Still awake and alive. I was about to sleep when I decided to clean my things before the official start of the classes tomorrow. I have a lot of things scattered around, ranging from notebooks and books from the previous chapter of my life-the high school. So, before the stressful 'chapter' of college officially hit my block, I decided to clean as early as possible.

What can I say... Cleaning those mess wouldn't be such a big problem to encounter on, not as BIG as cleaning our dirty yard. However, what I thought of as a 'simple' chore turned out to be an emotional one when I started to look over the hidden-now scattered paraphernalia of my High School craziness. There were a lot of 'creative' materials/works, Investigatory Projects, papers with low scores, checked assignments, scratch papers, and etc. I still remembered every detail I put into those self-made crafts and as I saw the date a quick flashback suddenly came into my mind and I started laughing at all those 'stress'.

After cleaning and sorting which one is the most needed, I finally decided to throw most of my high school crafts leaving some sorts of important books and notes that might be useful this coming college. I feel so sad and I'm a bit teary eyed of what I did. Although, I don't really wanna do it[asking mom where to put these trashes], I need to do it and I need to move on and find something good and productive. I guess, that would be it... I need to leave all those memories behind, but surely I'll face the future with no fear and dissatisfaction and surely I'll work hard for it.

I realized, you wont know how valuable the time is not unless you've realized how many opportunities you've wasted just for nothing:)

What a menace! T_T

It's seventeen thirty[17:30] in the afternoon. The next day is what? It's Sunday and then followed by my most awaited yet most dreaded day of all, the Monday. It's terrible when we're experiencing like waiting for something weird to happen then you can't do anything to prevent such menace to our lives. For now, I really feel like I'm sitting in a chair inside the waiting room of a dungeon waiting for departure, departure to the mouth of a blood-thirsty mutant. I can't escape, and I can no longer go back. Instead I'll wait for something like a miracle to save me from death.

I've read the work of Ms. Anne Frank yesterday. Although, I did not finish it yet and I don't feel like finishing it before time comes out, I've read the most essential part of the book which says "no matter what odd that's happening... good that we still managed to be alive though". I've experienced it a lot of times and maybe just yesterday or something, I really don't know. No matter how good the day or the experience is, it just turns out to be useless and I suddenly forgot the most essential lesson from it, which is to be patient:( not good!

uhmmn.. I don't have a good story to tell & I really don't feel like writing for now. So, byebye:)) I'll be back soon:D next week or tomorrow:)

Korean Wave

I thought of writing a post about this phenomena after observing a lot during my daily travels through the "city".

Korean Wave as defined by the Wikipedia refers to the surge of popularity of South Korean culture around the world since the 21st century, especially among the Millennial Generation.
It's mostly characterized by deep penetration and recognition of the Korean culture towards the existing culture and identity of a country or a group of people comprising either the majority or the minority of a country.

There are a lot of definitions and citations about the real and exact meaning of Korean Wave. Upon searching the internet, me myself got a lot of ideas and comments about the said phenomena. I really don't see the exact reason and cause of such phenomena. However, me myself can clearly see the impact of such cultural drift-like history my country is embossing right now. It may not be too long that history books will soon add the "Korean Age" on historic stages of my country, adding it from the former three ages of Spanish, American, and Japanese occupation.

Without the tears and bloodshed, It seems that a slow invasion of ones culture is taking place not only in my physical country but also in the hearts of every Filipinos. I will not be surprised if one day I can see Filipinas and Filipinos wearing the same attire Koreans do. They're different and has their own style and fashion, they don't mind how the people would look at them either up or down for as long as they are 'in' and they are comfortable with what they are wearing.

I won't be selfish for solely describing other people at my age right now, for I too is a big fan of how Koreans seem to decorate themselves. I find them very attractive, seeking very big attention against the people around them. I see them everywhere in my city right now and owing its perfect destination(my country) as one of their main travel spots and economic hinterland because of the devalued Philippine Peso, there's every reason for them to stay and love the Philippines. I see them different not only because of their light complexion but because of how they bring themselves and present them to the people around them.

My city has been transforming itself into a more industrialized and urbanized setting than before. It can't be helped and I think little is done to make it less polluted and overcrowded for there are a lot of problems my city is facing right now. To make up with the difference, the government is doing its best to improve rather than continue and worsen the life of the people. One of its best solutions and probably its most attended suggestion is to boost tourism of this city as it is the easiest and fastest industry to be developed. Of all the industries, only tourism can withstand the surge of economic crisis and recession, so maybe it's the main reason why the government is doing its best to further improve and maintain its good records in tourism.

The tourism impact has changed not only the physical appearance of the city but also the heart of every Cebuanos[people in Cebu City]. Most City dwellers in my city may find Korean, Japanese, American, and European shops stylish and 'cool', only a few still manage to love and go to Filipino native restaurants. Curiousity is the nature of every human, however, curiousity like this would not only swallow our own identity but also our minds. Not goodx)

As I was watching over shops found in downtown and uptown Cebu. Many shops offer services to foreigners especially Koreans. Most of the signs and architecture are already in Korean. The Korean alphabet 'hangul' has even invaded the city street signs especially near tourist destinations where tourist buses normally go through. I find it ironic on how they put those 'hangulised' words and signs where Filipinos can't read. At my case, I can read and sometimes understand what those signs mean and refer to, but in the case of every Filipino not all can clearly understand it.

The said Korean Wave or any other tourism related wave may not call our attention for now. Its main and suggested effect is to make the economy much better, but can it still be helped?

The future is really undecided.x)

June 9-evening madness!:)

I really had a very stressful yet fun activity I've done this night on Facebook. Guess what was it?!!!! Photo comments!

A few months ago when I haven't made this Facebook account yet, in which the icon is pretty visible in the right portion of every page on this blog, I really really really and another really discriminated and judged Facebook.com badly. I saw it's first interface and features when my brother made his own account due to some urges made by his colleagues. At that time, I was ridiculously addict with another social networking site which I bet more popular by the mass here in the Philippines. That social networking site former suffered from deep criticisms of not only my brother's but also the ones made by posters on its bulletins.

I will not mention the name of the said site-haha:), and I know that even you yourself already knew what I've been referring to. Yeah, I admit that I was a bit attracted to it's so-called old features before I started using Facebook. I never thought that something will have better user interface other than that site. The last phase of my usage[of that site] was characterized by deep curiosity on trying new things out and experimenting on it, and that step was really proven to be effective for a change. It was on the last week of April that I left my profile and put a shout out of "Not upd8ing eveerr!" or something like that, It started only as a gimmick but suddenly left me out of those old ways.

Blah! Blah! and I really introduced a lot of words already^^ haha enough of it.

Here's the funny thing that happened a few hours ago:))

My friends... uhmmn I don't think they have blog too but I'll link it if I have theirs. Two of my friends are always reacting and posting some comments in conversation form on my pictures in Facebook. The most massive one was the whole album itself entitled Life. Here it is!....

See the number of comments? that's approximately 200++'s and I think that is already a very big achievement. I mean comment/comment box features are really not designed to hold a lot of comment conversation of the users and that number is really really really very BIG!

The next one is my former primary pic... look at this...

That's another 100++'s comments! all in conversation. They're really very good to talk to and I don't feel any boredom on chatting with them. Although it's really stressful and shall we say a waste of time, It's fun! and really y'all should try it too!:))

&& of course... special thanks too...

I'm already a certified Facebook FAN!

Jeepney RIDE

"Jeepney" is that the right spelling?

I really don't know the right spelling of that word but as far as I know it means a form of vehicle and sometimes if not mostly associated with traffic in downtown Cebu City. It developed mainly from the war vehicles used in WW2 or WW1 that was bought here by foreign soldiers at that time. By Filipino creativity and resourcefulness, it developed into something more useful and unique. It became a form of vehicle used in public utility and the main form of transportation if someone is commuting throughout cities here in the Philippines.

Although, few real jeepies really exists today for it is usually replaced by cabs which originally originate from Japan maybe 10-15 years ago, I think most of public utility form of transportation here in my city relies on what they so called jeepnies. Of any kind, of any class, of any model or version, they call it jeepney.

Here in my city there are no significant forms of changes occurring for the past at least 10 years. The form of vehicle used in transportation, the roads has just somewhat widened a bit, the aging faces of population, has just changed a bit and showing very very small societal progress. It think only the faces of the artistas and new technological gadgets has been replacing the old ones on billboards. So, it's pretty obvious that there's nothing to expect about having modern ways of transportation here like trains and trams etc.

My weirdest encounter with people in jeepneys/public transportation has been observed at my first self-trip in the city! I was on my way to UP that time to have my credentials processed. That school is really very particular with those stuffs, so I really expected to go back again and again. I observed something and that is of all the people using jeepneys as their main way of transportaion, a few only really pay the drivers! oh so poor, and I think it's really not that good to have free ride. That's their business of course and the gasoline now is really really very very expensive, a black gold indeed.

To prove my hypothesis for the last time, I sitted on the place nearest to the front sit. I really don't sit at that part of the jeepney, I don't like it and it sucks for me. All the dust and heat of the machine somehow goes out there, and ofcourse also the people saying "Will you please pass this to the driver" If only those coins will go to me and not to the driver, why not? haha. Most of the people pay when they are about to go out of the jeepney, while others don't even pay at all. I was the only person self-assigned to receive most of the payments of the commuters at that time. With my keen eyes at that time, I observed all the people and I was totally shocked after knowing that of all the commuters only 3 payed the fare of 7 pesos! my gosh!

After having these experiences, I realized what if I wont pay too! haha. It's really really bad if I'll not pay for fare and it's not fair too. huhuhu, hope those people will realize that too:P poor drivers:(

I don't have PE:(

I finally finished part of my enrollment yesterday. I really suffered from stiff neck badly yesterday but now I think I'm a bit fine and I can usually do what I normally do everyday. I didn't really expect that I'll finish it that early and on that day for I only went to school just to clear things out on my sched. It's really really clear and my schedule was done only that I don't have P.E. It's really bad but ate Shiela said it's already the best we can have.

Our adviser, Miss Chavez said that I'll just add mat later... It means Add matriculation:) I really don't know what is that and I really don't have idea about those stuffs, It made me feel like a lost cat on a street waiting for his sudden death. Now, my problem is nobody can really help me out to finish those problems I had because of my tardiness. How I wish I can really turn back time. Since it already happened and it can't be reversed, I think I need to face it on my own.

My schedule is really really very bad and I have a permanent sched of approximately 5 hours break within the day, my god what the hell would I do on that time of the day. The worst is it's within the day and I really can't turn it around, If I'll go home I need to go back to school and going home will cost a lot of money and time. Ate Shiela thinks of actually transferring it to another time but every slot is full and there are even wait lists on other sched.

I'm going to school later, I'll finally finish my enrollment and I just need to pay the remaining bills for the stamp registered to finally finish my whole enrollment process. I wonder where will mom get the entire php. 10,000 plus more for this day. I mean that's really a lot and I don't think it's really that small.

I'm sorry for my last post:(

My last post which I posted yesterday was really a very big no no, I was not in mood that time and until now I am currently facing very big problems regarding schooling, financial, pressure stuffs, and everything. I really don't feel like writing on this blog for I know that some maybe reading my posts in everyday. I wanna tell my problems to someone who can really relate and maybe suggest good ideas for me so It'll be more comfortable and better than continuing in this way.

I arrived yesterday in our house with full discouragement and I really feel that tiredness I haven't felt before. I feel like being useless and helpless, I feel deep patheticness and aloneness, no friends can really help me out in every way. Ideas which keep on whirling on my mind was there pushing my tears down, ironic why I would do such when I don't feel any sadness in my heart. Different ideas were around and I don't even know which of those are the main topic. I wanna shout, cry, yell, and go to a place where I can be alone in a beach full of sand where I can rest the whole day. Our house has never been a complete refuge for me, my problems outside may not go beyond home doors but family problems can start to penetrate. Osmosis? was that the right term? there's problems anywhere and everytime I go to a place different levels have grown up like fungi suggesting the place to be livable or not, but of course our house has the least penetration.

I was very silent last night, and I seldom talk seriously. My siblings may even communicate with me in the same manner and I also reply on that manner, in a happy tone without the sign of deep sadness. I give unobvious jokes that might make them laugh in their minds and I always show a smiling face in front of them. I always do that, and I'm inspired in making that one after seeing some happy-go-lucky people in movies. But, I guess movies don't make up what the real world is. They tend to inspire people but the artists who act on it don't even understand what real happiness is after acting those characters. I try to follow people who always wear a smile in their face, and I follow what my brother said to talk politely and slowly, not showing a sign of discouragement and loneliness. I can do that, but the problem is, what my mind says will always be that and I can no longer fake it.

Why do I experience these stuffs? while others keep on enjoying what they've got. I see them on the street and even me myself can assess them. They're good persons, they have a lot of friends to shoulder on, they are good at something and they are happy. Why do they keep on smiling at their life's successes? Why can't I? Why can't I be like them?

Why do these tears to fall? What for?
god damn it! give me the reason! x(

Enrollment-First Phase

Today, June 1, 2009, is the schedule of our enrollment as a freshmen in the University of the Philippines. Although the enrollment is a bit tricky and it really needs a lot of patience testing if you can really survive it or not, I find it fun and I would never forget what I experienced on these stages of college admission.

I woke up at 6:00 in the morning via alarm and I even ignored the first alarm of the clock, as if I am not into something while sleeping. At the second alarm of my cellphone based alarm clock, I chose to wake up and do some bathing and eating. I didn't leave the house until 10 in the morning and I find it a very big waste of time, and I'll tell you soon of my consequences of waking up so late and going to my sched late too.

When I arrived in UP via public transportation or commuting, it was already 11 in the morning and I even saw other students doing their last stages of enrollment already. I was not upset nor afraid for I know that someone should have been tardier than me, I really love it and I feel that the people of that university is a bit better right now. But, guess it is, only the first and the only step I've done this day is easy.

I was stuck in the second step, I've waited for some schedule available with slots which I can enroll into for the whole day. I really think that I've wasted the entire day spending it in UP alone. Haiizzz...

I think the best part of the day is when we ate at Mcdonald's at JY square mall in 4L route! haha. Although Mcdo, as it is commonly called here in the Philippines, is already common and I find it repetitive to eat again and again on that food chain and almost if not memorizing the entire menu, something new it is! mainly for the reason that I set my first step at JY square and I find it so so. The mall? Not that good and not that bad, but sizewise it is really really small. I think you wont have a foot alert when you walk at that mall the whole day. really small!

I hope I'll finish the enrollment process tomorrow^^

May 31, 2009

Yesterday, me and my entire family except my father went on a debut party, and before that one... we encountered some happenings me and my family especially my siblings would never forget! It was so much fun! x)

I have no more time and I'm still posting my new post today so make these pictures do a bit of the talking:)