fraud

Hi Blog. I really don't want to say anything to you, but I just have to. Well, I can't say anything to anyone in this world because of sisu, and besides I don't want to.

My concern is all about me, I've been telling and doing a lot of lies lately. I always consider people who are real on themselves. I prefer more on people who does not pretend or act as if it's a universal law to be what they are doing which doesn't make any sense because what's deep inside you is the real you and will always go out.

But, I felt stupid lately. What I dislike is what I am doing and I really hate that thing. For me it's like accusing others to be thieves when you're stealing a larger amount than the people you were referring to.

As always, I don't have my originality and I always copy other people which to some extent I admire. The reason's not mostly materialistic but more on the spirit thing. I regard being envious as a positive thing, I copy other people but make sure I can outplay him which happens when depending on my standards I've won a race against an opponent which has no idea I was competing him.

After all the self drive, all the envious thing is gone and I see myself better than yesterday. I know it's bad to cheat, plus self-praising is stupid. As stupid as your mom saying you're the most handsome man on earth. It really doesn't make any sense but my point is, other than yourself... who can probably praise your works? Other than yourself.. who can praise you the way you feel you're worth it? Other than you... who can encourage you when you need some encouragement/self-drive from other people?

Well, I can't beg for other people's advice. Each person in this world has their own business and things in mind. It's just impractical to open a lot when you know you're not getting the thing you wanted. Better keep it yourself than trouble others. But my conscience is hitting my back and I really feel it now. I think God is reminding me to slow down a bit and think think and think a lot before doing decisive action.

I am the captain of my soul, God is my provider. Nobody can dictate me what to do and I can be better than anybody or outplay anyone even if it's only me acknowledging it.

Godspeed:D